Thursday, May 14, 2009

My Generation.

When will we learn that Jesus is the ONLY one that can satisfy our longing for something more?

My Generation, full of rebels, full of misfits, full of recklessness and hate, is a generation only seeking for someone to save us. A Saviour.

We are the Generation of Jacob.
We have tried it all.
We have tried being our own Saviors. We have turned to drugs to save us, they hurt us. We have turned to alcohol to save us, they hindered us. We have tried recklessness to get our adrenaline pumping.

Anything to make us feel alive.

We have wrestled with God, day and night, for our rights. For our blessings.
We will not relent until He has blessed us.
He will not relent until we are His.

When will we learn that He is the only one that can satisfy?
That we are His?

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Mercy So Scandalous

It's days like today that helps me remember the mercy that was shown on calvary. It took me a long time to realize that grace and mercy are completely different, though both incredibly powerful. 
Grace is getting what you don't deserve.
Mercy is not getting what you do deserve. 

I have had to relearn that every day I have known the definition of them.  The only person that I know can convey the mercy that is necessary for day to day life is Jesus. Last night was very interesting after service with Dusty and Jeremy in the back room discussing how the enemy will do anything to keep you from being excited for the things that God has. I was stunned, to say the least, as I stood there in silence listening to these two men who Love God will ALL of their beings and whom I consider incredible brothers talk about how they allowed the enemy to control their emotions, and stamina for the night, in which they had so anticipated. That night Jesus blessed me with the return of my boldness, so my mouth opened and words actually came out! 

In II Corinthians 8:9 it says, "For you are becoming progressively acquainted with and recognizing more strongly and clearly the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ (His kindness, His gracious generosity, His undeserved favor and spiritual blessing), [in] that though He was [so very] rich, yet for your sakes He became [so very] poor, in order that by His poverty you might become enriched (abundantly supplied)." My Jesus was so inherently good that He did ALL that He could so that we could recognize that His Grace IS MORE than enough. We learn grace more and more everyday. New aspects of it and new epiphanies occur every day and that is exactly how it is supposed to be. I let them know that! Lack of Faith is NOT acceptable in the Kingdom.

Now Mercy.....mercy is a whole different story. 
Exodus 15:13
You in Your mercy and loving-kindness have led forth the people whom You have redeemed; You have guided them in Your strength to Your holy habitation.

It took me alot longer to accept mercy than it did to accept grace. If I did something wrong, I definitely deserved to be punished! The greatest example of mercy is the defeat of death itself. The bearer of the cross, Christ, made it so that we no longer need to fear death, He is on the other side waiting for us. That is the biggest deed of mercy, I think since the survivors of the fall of man. 

Human nature calls us to be demand Justice when things go wrong. Justice to the injustice! Pastor Brian has been speaking on that lately, and there is power to bringing justice to the brokenhearted, and justice to the poor and needy, justice to the widowed and orphaned. But, what if, instead of justice, we demanded mercy? How would that change the way that we think and/or administer hope? Would there be more words spoken than step taken? How different would it look? 
His mercy is so scandalous that with people like Bin Laden, Hussein, Hitler, & Stalin we demand justice, and He demands mercy. Who in the world finds a reason to be merciful to the most hated men to ever exist??? Certainly not any normal being I've met. 

I am convinced that God will do anything to get our attention. Even to the point of severe mercy. Where God will do anything to get our attention even to the point of losing everything. In order to get to the end of ourselves and into the throne room, He is willing to do anything, take away everything that you have, so that all you have is Him to cling to. Now, don't go confusing severe mercy as punishment, it is His Giant love that makes it happen. 

God has mercy so scandalous that He rescued YOU in your darkness...
Why not the darkest people? ;)

Love. :)

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

In Retrospect

Lately I've been in a very reflective state in the hopes of finding answers to questions I've been afraid to ask anyone but Jesus. In my life, I have been called melancholy more often than not, which if I was then that wouldn't/didn't help that people pointed it out but did nothing to help. But today Samantha said it and I wondered to myself if I was being melancholy, and I'm not that girl. Just because I am quiet does not make me depressed, it just means that I'm having an introverted day. Sure, I used to be that girl. I was convinced, for a long time, that I had developed or inherited my mother's bipolar tendencies. I could be up one minute and rock bottom the next minute. But, Jesus is my would it be even slightly possible that I could be melancholy now?
During my recent times of reflection, I have realized, I'm not who anybody expected. Heck, I'm not who I expected. Coming from the life that I did, who would have thought I would have done all the things I have done, gone the places I have gone, and spoken the things I have spoken. I know that I have dreams bigger than me, bigger than you, bigger that the life I have now, and I wonder to myself, second guessing God, whether or not 'I'm worth it, they're worth it, if I can do it, if I have that authority, or power, or strength, if I can persevere through the unspoken trials that are about to come my way'. And then I remember who my God is. My God is the God who parted the Red Sea, My God is the God who enabled an old man to build an ark, My God is a God who promised an old man with no children that his children would be as many as the stars in the sky, my God has done infinite things and here I sit in my comfortable little life questioning as to whether He can fulfill His promises for me, if He'll come through like He said He would... who am I to question the King of Kings?
I sit here a whole month and a half from being home and I wonder where I'm going in life, panicking, worried because I can't find a job. How am I supposed to pay for the internship that I want to go to without a job? How am I supposed to survive without a job? How am I supposed to be able to bless the Kingdom without a job?
I can't.
But if I continue questioning Him, and my faith in Him, none of this shall come to pass.
I have been rescued from a life of terror, faithlessness, hopelessness, despair and melancholy are the banners of my family history.
Those chains have been broken over me and over the next generations in my family's future. And that, my friend, is a blessing and a promise fulfilled above all other promises.
When I think about all of the things I could have been, and all of the things I am I can't help but to laugh. I am so thankful that the God of my yesterdays is the God of my today and tomorrows. I can't help but to find great joy in that.
So in retrospect, I used to be melancholy, I used to be that girl with her head down and her heart closed, I used to be that girl that would talk forever but not actually say a thing...

I'm tattered, torn at the edges, I have holes in my heart that have been bandaged up, and I'm not a safe little Christian girl...
In Retrospect, I'm glad I made it here....