I have been unemployed since December of 2008. But by God's Good Grace I have had everything I've needed at all times, even if at times it seemed as though I was 'roughing it'. I have always had a knack for not feeling as though I lack when it something I lack in the physical. However, if you were to bring up the internal, I would tell you that more than a hundred times I have felt as though I have less than most others. In the last few months, however, I can tell you I have felt more rich internally than a normal human being. I am so blessed by the Most High. I have been given so many riches and have been lavished with so many gifts in my mere 21 years. It took me this long to realize it. Although I still have to really think about it from time to time, I know deep down in my spirit that I am a princess of the King. I deserve nothing less than what a princess deserves. I have to remember however that I don't get say in what I get, but I have the peace in knowing that if it is from God, it's the best that I could ask for or even think of. I am so grateful right now. I have a job! Win. But it's something that I am good at. I am praying that I can keep it for quite some time. I am hoping that I can bless God with this job and that I can move forward.
I have had the pure joy of being able to "rough it", it is time for me to walk with a humble regality now. I am a princess of the Most High, but I am still His lowly handmaiden, and if all I do with my life is serve Him with my whole heart? Well, then I can say that I have lived a glorious life.
Lovelovelove
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Friday, July 23, 2010
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Father's Day and Feelings
I always title my blogs before I write them.
Probably because I tend to get off subject and looking at them makes me remember what the heck I'm talking about...
But this one, I feel like, I won't need a double take at to make sure of what I'm writing on.
I always hate Father's day, but every year just a little less than the year before. This year, I was determined to not cry. Well, I made it about five minutes into the service and the tears came.
For quite some years my heart felt like my daddy had abandoned me and I was resentful, hateful, and confused about fathers. When, however I began to trust God as my father, I had out of this world ideas as to what a dad was. I think I still do. But, I would always get upset when I saw father's mistreated or disregarded by their sons and daughters. My friends that have daddies, whether or not their parents are divorced have something I have spent my entire life longing for: Someone to run to when they're scared, hurt, confused or frustrated, someone who has a hard time saying no to them, someone that can't get enough of them and loves to see them smile. Now I know not every dad is like that. It would be foolish to think that all dads can do all of those things. But, I'm certain that in times of dire need there is DNA in a father's heart that will do anything to see their child continue on in their hopes to be a successful person.
I cannot think of a time when I have needed a father more than I have in these past 9 months. I have gone through judgment, trials, physical and spiritual pain, I have sinned beyond anybody's lowest expectations (including my own).
I have needed help, comfort, hope, peace, provision and joy.
All the things that a father is there to provide (amongst other things).
It took me a while to realize how quickly God was working in me, and I've only just today realized that it's His Father's heart that's done it all. He has given me help, comfort, hope, peace, provision, and restored my joy full measure.
Yet, that Sunday morning, I still found myself crying my eyes out. Yes, for joy in His Fatherly Love. But also in sorrow. You see, I will never get to have that childhood of a Dad, and all the benefits a young lady profits from that. But even now I long so badly for a tangible fatherly figure to yearn to raise me up and guide me, and I'm tired of being ashamed of that.
Enough of Father's Day.
Next year I won't cry from sorrow, that's my goal.
My God is a Good Dad and the rest of this year, I'm sure that, as always, He'll prove Himself faithful in that.
Love&Joy,
JenessaMichele
Probably because I tend to get off subject and looking at them makes me remember what the heck I'm talking about...
But this one, I feel like, I won't need a double take at to make sure of what I'm writing on.
I always hate Father's day, but every year just a little less than the year before. This year, I was determined to not cry. Well, I made it about five minutes into the service and the tears came.
For quite some years my heart felt like my daddy had abandoned me and I was resentful, hateful, and confused about fathers. When, however I began to trust God as my father, I had out of this world ideas as to what a dad was. I think I still do. But, I would always get upset when I saw father's mistreated or disregarded by their sons and daughters. My friends that have daddies, whether or not their parents are divorced have something I have spent my entire life longing for: Someone to run to when they're scared, hurt, confused or frustrated, someone who has a hard time saying no to them, someone that can't get enough of them and loves to see them smile. Now I know not every dad is like that. It would be foolish to think that all dads can do all of those things. But, I'm certain that in times of dire need there is DNA in a father's heart that will do anything to see their child continue on in their hopes to be a successful person.
I cannot think of a time when I have needed a father more than I have in these past 9 months. I have gone through judgment, trials, physical and spiritual pain, I have sinned beyond anybody's lowest expectations (including my own).
I have needed help, comfort, hope, peace, provision and joy.
All the things that a father is there to provide (amongst other things).
It took me a while to realize how quickly God was working in me, and I've only just today realized that it's His Father's heart that's done it all. He has given me help, comfort, hope, peace, provision, and restored my joy full measure.
Yet, that Sunday morning, I still found myself crying my eyes out. Yes, for joy in His Fatherly Love. But also in sorrow. You see, I will never get to have that childhood of a Dad, and all the benefits a young lady profits from that. But even now I long so badly for a tangible fatherly figure to yearn to raise me up and guide me, and I'm tired of being ashamed of that.
Enough of Father's Day.
Next year I won't cry from sorrow, that's my goal.
My God is a Good Dad and the rest of this year, I'm sure that, as always, He'll prove Himself faithful in that.
Love&Joy,
JenessaMichele
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)