In the palm of my Abba's hands

              Not having a daddy while I was growing up made it so I was deficient in areas that most of my friends aren't, even if their parents are divorced, most still know their dad. But I was lost as a girl not knowing how to act, react, or discipline myself. I knew that. I didn't know however that there was a Man that did care. A man that carried me in the palm of His hands from the day He sculpted me, put me in the kiln, and then painted me. Then? Then He called me lovely and made it so I was without fault. Then He sent me away. The story could stop there. The Creator made me. That could be the End. But this is something you gotta know. Not only is my Father a Creator... but my Father is an Author. Before He sent me here, He wrote 2 VERY important things regarding me. Before the dawn of creation, He wrote a book, this book was called Jenessa, it was my story. He wrote all of the good things, all of the bad things, all of the boring genealogy (that always ends up being super important). Also, a very long time ago, He wrote an instruction manual (The Bible) for all of mankind and I was lucky enough to get my hands on one of those.

            There have been seasons in my life that I have sat and rested in my Abba's palm, leaning back to know that He is here, to know that He is ever-faithful, ever-true. There have been seasons where I have been angry and frustrated at my Royal Dad. There have seasons when He has filled me with the Spirit, more than I thought I could ever hold as I am such a small vessel. But the season that I am in now has no definition yet. There is a righteous indignation in my heart at this world, at my small life, and at what He has made me capable of vs. what I have actually done. My heart is so big, I am filled with humility when I look at His word, when I look at His creation, and what they've done to themselves outside of His will. I don't understand His will for this world, a desperate world without hope. I am called to be a light, and people are attracted to light, I believe that I am a very bright light, because people are drawn to me. I believe in the promises that He has for my words. This season my heart is compressed, and urged to move forward in His callings, to move forward in His anointing for me, and I am...but every day I am convicted to speak to the nations, to use my hands for His hands, to go where He needs to go and I end up saying little things that seem meaningless, touching things that end up dying, and going where I want to go. I am a selfish creature that is learning how to become selfless in all that I do instead of just the things that I think are worthy of my time.

So this season, I'm in my Abba's palm, but He's taking me where He needs me to be, and I'm excited.